


White Carnations.

by Nayong127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crybaby! Taeyong, Fluffy Ending, Hanahaki Disease, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, JohnTen at the ending tho, JohnYong are friend goals, Light Angst, M/M, Oblivious Yuta (?), Slight!JohnTen, The world needs more YuTae, What Was I Thinking?, the ending sucks, yutae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 05:25:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9164095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nayong127/pseuds/Nayong127
Summary: The flower petals, slowly filling his lungs and blooming in his throat were choking him. Tears finally streamed down his cheeks indicating that he couldn't bear the pain. Youngho had suggested him to undergo the surgery. But the only thing running inside his mind was that the pain was worth it, Yuta was worth it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had read two stories about the Hanahaki disease and this is something I wanted to try. I am not so good at writing and please do forgive me for the mistakes. The world needs more YuTae and I am happy to comply *winks* And sorry for the lame title.

Taeyong was in the bathroom, he was having difficulty in breathing and suddenly he coughed flower petals. The older was terrified as he knew what it meant. The sink was decorated with white carnations. The sight was beautiful, only if his chest wasn't hurting so bad. There was a knock on the door and Taeyong tensed upon it. After a few seconds, he managed to let the words fall out of his lips, but it was fairly audible.

"Tae, I am coming in." Youngho said as Taeyong tried his best to throw away those white carnations' petals. But to his vain, Youngho caught up just in time. 

"Tae, are you okay?" The older of the two asked even if he knew the answer, the younger wouldn't be okay. Everything that was happening would never equal to being okay. 

"I think I can bear with it, it's not so bad." It sounded more like a question. The older hugged him and whispered,"It will be okay, you will be okay." The younger could only nod, feeling so helpless. 

"How did you even get rid of that infection?" The younger asked with curiosity laced in his voice. He knew that the older was also infected and now he is healthy and having no trouble breathing. 

"I thought about undergoing the surgery to get rid of it, even if it meant that I would have to dispose all of my feelings for Ten. One day, he saw me coughing pink camellias and he asked me about it. I couldn't lie to him, you know how he can detect my lies. So, I just confessed and told him not to worry about me because I would go under surgery. He suddenly embraced me and told me not to undergo the surgery. I asked him if he was crazy and he told me that he also likes me. His likeness wasn't unrequited love, so he didn't suffer from Hanahaki disease. After spending time with him, I realized that I didn't cough pink camellias anymore." As the older finished his little confession, Taeyong couldn't help but feel sad about his condition. Ten accepted Youngho's love but would Yuta ever accept his?

Taeyong didn't remember when he started coughing flower petals, maybe it was when Yuta smiled cheekily at the older while the older was scolding him. Or maybe when the younger would comfort him while the older missed his family. He still didn't remember but the pain in his chest always reminded him that yes, he had fallen in love with the younger. Sometimes, his stare at the younger would linger more than necessary and when they would make eye contact, the older would feel flowers slowly blooming and spreading through his lungs. Maybe Yuta was oblivious or he was just being nice, the older didn't know but he sure knew one thing that his condition was worsening as days passed.

 

"Tae, are you alright? You seem to be going to the bathroom every five minutes." The younger asked as his brows were furrowed and concern could be detected from his voice. The older only gave a small smile and said that he was okay. Every time, their hands touched each other, the older would feel the flowers creeping into his lungs, a bright smile from the younger would choke him as the flowers reached his throat and a hug or ruffle on his head would make him have difficulty in breathing and he would finally run to the bathroom as he violently coughed those beautiful white carnations. He cleaned those flower petals and quickly bid the younger goodbye to avoid any confrontation. 

 

The pain that came with the coughing of flower petals was unbearable but, those feelings that he had for the younger were worth risking his life for. Youngho would always remind him to undergo the surgery but he always refused it. He didn't want his feelings for the younger to disappear even if it meant that he had to risk his life. The way his heart reacted to the younger was just enough for him to keep loving him. The way Yuta always smiled at him, their little skinships, even though it didn't mean anything to the younger : it meant everything for the older. He felt pathetic, deeply in love and nothing else to hold onto. 

All four of them were hanging in the apartment shared by Taeyong and Youngho. They were watching movies and the warmth of the younger never failed to calm him. Taeyong was thinking about what ifs and all his mind could think was of the younger who was sitting beside him. When the younger lowered his head on the older's shoulder, he could feel the flower petals slowly creeping into the stomach, ready to bloom. He excused himself saying that he would bring some more snacks. He finally made it to the kitchen and started looking for some snacks. He thought about their little moment earlier, the flowers desperately trying to come out from his body. He resisted a bit but couldn't help it when he violently coughed those beautiful white carnations' petals. He soon started cleaning but he sensed someone else's presence in the room. He turned around and relief washed his face.

"Ten, what are you doing here?" The older asked while he dumped all of those flower petals and opened a bottle of juice to drink.

"Hey, are you alright?" The younger asked ignoring the previous question. He was really worried and the older only heaved a sigh. It was obvious that the older wasn't okay, he was far from okay.

"I am fine, just a little problem in breathing." The older lied about being fine as he didn't want to add another person who would be worrying about him. 

"I know it hurts a lot, it makes you feel like you are dying." A sad smile tugged the younger's lips as he squeezed the older's hands. Confusion was written all over the older's face.

"How can you be so sure when you haven't even felt it?" The older asked as he stared intently at the younger.

"Because I was infected with Hanahaki disease too, it wasn't as serious as yours." The sad smile stilled on his face.

"But Yougho said that you were never infected by it. Did you lie to him or are you lying to me?" The words that left his lips made his tongue bitter. Bitterness was what his life consisted of now. 

"I lied to him, it was the only thing I have ever lied about. Whenever he was with me, I suppressed it and he hardly caught me as he was covering his own petals. Then one day I found out that he likes me but wanted to undergo the surgery. I couldn't let my chance slip when he confessed to me. I had to do something....... the thought of him never loving me was more painful than coughing those flower petals. That's how we ended up together." There was a fond smile tugging the lips of the younger. Taeyong gave him a small smile.

"What flowers did you throw up anyway?" The older asked while he was curious. They said that the flowers that bloom inside of you, are the mirrors of your feelings. He was curious as what the younger felt for his friend.

"Gardenia, the symbol of secret love." The younger beamed brightly. 

"I hope that Yuta will reciprocate your feelings because it's easy to fall in love with you." The younger sounded hopeful and rushed out of the kitchen when they heard Youngho calling for them. "I hope so too", the older mumbled as he made his way to the living room.

 

 

"Tae, please just listen to me and undergo the surgery." Youngho was hurting as much as Taeyong was. But the only difference was that Youngho was hurting because Taeyong was like his brother. And Taeyong was hurting because of his unrequited love. The thought of Yuta alone made his lungs clench in agony. The flower petals, slowly filling his lungs and blooming in his throat were choking him. Tears finally streamed down his cheeks indicating that he couldn't bear the pain. 

"The pain is worth it, Yuta is worth it." The younger smiled even if he was hurting pretty bad. He never lied about it, the pain that he felt was unbearable but it was worth risking his life for. And, today he just proved that nothing would make him change his decision. Youngho fell on the ground with tears streaming continuously, the younger was crying as well. 

" It will kill you if you don't stop it in time. I can't lose you, please listen to me....." The older choked on his tears, vision blurry but he raised up to see the man who made him this weak. The younger gulped the lump forming in his throat and rushed to embrace the older. 

"Fine, I will undergo the surgery. Even if it will save me from death but my heart will forever be empty." The younger spoke weakly as he tried suppressing more incoming tears. Both of them fell asleep after they cried to their hearts' content.

 

After a week, Taeyong would be undergoing the surgery and it pained him that his heart would be empty. The feeling of emptiness was something he hated the most. The younger had been avoiding him since a few days. It hurt and maybe this was his time to forget those feelings that once grew on him. He would miss those beautiful white carnations that always decorated their apartment. He would miss how he felt when the younger looked at him with bright eyes and his oh so beautiful smile. He would miss the blooming of white carnations which made his stomach fuzzy, the creeping of those flowers into his lungs, slowly choking him and the painful puff of breathe that he had to take. Tears fell from his eyes when he reminded himself that everything would fall apart, he would never feel the same for the younger and the worst is that he would lose a part of his heart. For a whole week, he cried himself to sleep, woke up with puffy eyes, just to be reminded of what was coming next. 

 

Youngho had been happy because he was saving his friend's life even if it meant that he was being cruel. He knew what it felt to be stuck with unrequited love, the pain of being unable to breathe and coughing out those flower petals, reminding him that the significant other won't ever reciprocate his feelings. The older was blessed to have his love reciprocated. 

"Yuta has been acting weird lately." The older turned towards his side when he heard his boyfriend speaking.

"What kind of weird are you talking about?" The older asked while the younger seated on his lap comfortably. He was playing with the younger's fingers as he waited for the younger to continue.

"I saw petals of orange blossoms and red camellias in his room. He doesn't spend much time with me like he used to do." The younger sulked as he thought about what was happening with his roommate.

"He doesn't spend time with you like he used to do because I am your boyfriend and I am glad about that." The older placed a few kisses on the younger's nape. The younger shivered at the touch and Youngho only smirked. 

"But he is avoiding Taeyong also. Something is wrong." The younger pouted when he couldn't figure it out. He was extremely worried for his friend. Then it suddenly hit him....... those flower petals and Yuta avoiding them.

"Do you think that it is Hanahaki disease?" The younger asked with hopeful eyes and turned to face his boyfriend. The older was taken back with the mention of Hanahaki disease, but the hopeful glint in the younger's eyes made the younger look so adorable that the older wanted to squish him. Without thinking twice, he crashed his lips with the younger's. The younger shrieked with surprise but soon kissed him back. It was a slow and sweet kiss with only the movements of lips, it was sweet and loving kiss, filled with affection. After a few moments, they pulled away to take their breaths. They forgot about what they were talking about and started cuddling.

After Youngho had left, Ten was making dinner for him and his roommate. Slowly the door opened and a tired looking Yuta walked into the kitchen. The younger just looked at him and asked if he wanted to eat after he washed up or right now. Yuta mumbled a small "Later" and went towards his room to wash up. After washing up, he made his way towards the kitchen and Ten was already ready with the food. He sat on his regular seat and started eating in silence. The younger noticed this and made the questions he wanted to ask.

"I saw some red camellias and orange blossoms in your room. Mind telling me what happened?" The younger asked with curiosity laced in his voice and a pout resting on those thin lips. 

"It's nothing ,really." The older nearly choked on his food but managed to stay calm. The younger eyed him suspiciously. 

"Tomorrow Taeyong is undergoing the surgery." The younger said with a small voice, barely audible but Yuta still caught up to it. 

"Is Tae sick? What happened to him?" The older stood up and raced to get into his room to take his phone and call the older. He was worried as hell when the older's phone was unreachable. Frustrated he threw his phone.

"Taeyong is sick but not dying sick. He is going to remove the Hanahaki disease from his body." The older stiffened when he heard that Taeyong was suffering from that disease. 

"Who is he in love with?" The words felt bitter when they left his lips. He couldn't imagine Taeyong with anyone else. The older's beautiful and sparkling eyes flashed into his mind, his beautiful smile and slowly he felt the flowers blooming inside of him. He could careless about it as the moments with Taeyong flashed inside his mind. The flowers slowly made it's way to his lungs then throat as he violently coughed up the Red Camellias and Orange Blossoms. 

Ten wasn't even surprised when he saw the older coughing out those flowers. He knew that the older had feelings for Taeyong. Now the only thing he needed to do was convince the older to confess or it would be too late.

"You should talk to him. Maybe he likes you too?" The younger faked innocence and did his best not to smile the bright happy smile. He just gave a small smile to indicate that he was trying to help. 

"But what if he doesn't like me? It may ruin our friendship." The older was pouring and Ten thought oh how much he loves you but just gave an encouraging smile. 

"You never know until you try it. Please do it before 12 PM tomorrow. His surgery is scheduled at 12." The younger patted his shoulder and went this room, smiling like a teenage girl who talked with his crush. 

However Yuta was pacing back and forth in his room. He was so worried about the older and the thought of the older having feelings for him was like a miracle, and he knew that miracles don't exist. He sulked and placed his hand on his chest and breathed heavily. The thought of the older alone made his stomach fuzzy and heart swelling in love. Oh how much he loved the older, if only his feelings were reciprocated, both of them wouldn't have to suffer. He was determined to confess tomorrow even if the older didn't reciprocate it. Hastily jumping on the bed and switching off the lights, he went to sleep. 

 

On the other side, Taeyong was a crying mess. Tonight would be the last night that he would ever feel this beautiful feeling. Maybe it would be the last time when he would see those beautiful white carnations. He let his mind to travel to the memories with Yuta. Playing on the beach, eating ice creams together, watching movies and going to friendly coffee dates. He would miss the fuzzy feelings that the thought of Yuta and Yuta gave him. He let the flowers bloom inside him, creeping slowly upwards and finally they got on his throat, he tried his best not to choke. This was the final time, he would be coughing up white carnations. He let the tears fall continuously and was surrounded by the petals of white carnations. 

"I with miss this feeling and I will miss my love for you, Yuta." The older mumbled weakly and fell asleep dreaming about the younger.

 

 

The morning came rather fast than he had expected. Johnny woke him up as the schedule got changed. He had to arrive earlier to make it to the hospital on time. He quickly washed up and got ready to leave for the hospital. 

"This is for your own good, Tae. Don't shut yourself on me. I am doing what's good for you." The older embraced him tightly. The younger gave a small smile and let go of the taller. 

"I know." He weakly whispered. The smaller waved his hands and made his way towards the hospital. The older finally let his tears stream down and whispered apologies to the younger. 

He messaged his boyfriend saying that Taeyong would reach the hospital in a few minutes so take care of him. He wouldn't be able to see the emptiness in Taeyong's eyes. It would kill the younger and himself too.

 

 

Yuta woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. It was 9 AM and he still had time to freshen up and eat breakfast. He slowly made his way towards the couch to watch some TV and found his phone lying dead. His phone was out of battery and he went to charge it. After a few moments of charging his phone, he saw there were many messages from Ten. He opened them to read but his heart fell when he finished reading. Taeyong was already in the hospital and he was in the middle of the surgery. He rushed towards the hospital. It didn't matter even if he was running like a crazy person. All that mattered was Taeyong and he wasn't going to lose this chance. 

 

He reached the hospital, panting hard only to find Ten furiously waiting for him.

" What the heck, Nakamoto Yuta? I called you many times and he is already inside the operation theater. What will you do now?" The younger was shouting crazily and the older's heart was broken into million pieces. The older only looked down and waited for the door to open.

After a few minutes which felt like hours, the door to the operating room finally opened. The doctor just smiled and went to his cabin. Ten just looked at him worriedly and motioned him to go inside alone. Yuta complied and entered the room as quietly as possible. Taeyong was sitting on the bed and looking through his phone. His heart swelled after seeing the older. 

"Taeyong......" The older looked up to find Yuta standing there. Taeyong gave him a small smile, Yuta felt the fuzzy feeling again. He went towards the bed and sat on the chair next to the bed.

"Why didn't you tell me about your condition?" The younger asked, trying his best not to tear up.

"How could I tell you about this when you were the reason behind it?" The older looked away. The younger felt his heart break slowly and steadily. The blossoms were creeping up his lungs and throat. Finally when he placed his hands on the older's colder ones, he violently coughed up red camellias and orange blossoms. Tears streamed down the younger's cheeks as he knew that after the operation, the older would never love him back. 

 

If only Yuta had confessed earlier, everything would have turned out good. Only if the younger wasn't a coward, he would have been in the arms of his lover. Only if he was brave enough to face it and didn't act like a child. Only if he hadn't avoided the older, maybe there could have been the chance of them being together? So many what ifs but he messed it up. The feelings the older had, died and now he is alone in this love. 

 

He tightly squeezed the older's hands and apologized for everything. For being such a coward and avoiding him. But as he brought his eyes to look up to the older, he didn't see emptiness. There was fondness and longing. As they both stared into each other's eyes, the older had tears which tried to fall. The younger cupped the older's face and gently erased those falling tears. At the very moment, the older couldn't breathe and finally coughed up white carnations. 

"You didn't undergo the surgery?" The younger asked as he jumped into the older to hug him tightly. More tears fell down his cheeks but it was tears of happiness.

"I couldn't do it. The pain of this beautiful feeling is worth risking my life for. You are worth it, Yuta." The older smiled tenderly as he hugged the younger back.

"I am so glad that you didn't undergo the surgery." The younger beamed brightly as he leaned forward to give a chaste kiss on the older's soft pink lips. The older whined at the loss of the younger's lips. 

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that I love you." The younger confessed as he intently stared at the older. The older just chuckled and peppered the younger's face with kisses. 

"Aren't you going to confess too?" The younger asked as he pouted. 

"Aren't you going to kiss me again?" The older questioned as the hue of pink decorated his cheeks. Without anymore words, the younger crashed his lips on the older's. Both of them smiled in the kiss and the older finally confessed. Both of them cuddled up on the hospital bed and their Hanahaki disease was finally cured.

"They are so cute together, don't you think so?" The smaller asked his boyfriend as they looked at the new couple cuddling on the bed.

"Yeah, disgustingly cute together." The smaller laughed as the older embraced him into a hug. 

"By the way, I love you." The older said as the smaller blushed a dark shade of pink. 

"I know." The older chuckled. 

"That was so uncalled for." The smaller just hugged him tighter.

"If I didn't love you, you would have died ages ago." The smaller grinned as he was kissed by the older.

**Author's Note:**

> White Carnations - Sweet and lovely: Innocence: pure love  
> Pink Camellia - Longing for you.  
> Gardenia - You are lovely : secret love.  
> Red Camellias - You are a flame in my heart.  
> Orange blossom - Innocence : Eternal Love : Marriage and fruitfulness.
> 
>  
> 
> If you are reading this then, thank you for spending your precious time here, I really appreciate it. Thank you for wasting your time on this story hehe.


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